"I kind of think my life is asking for some drugs"

I don't know if you are like me, but if you are then you've had this same problem that is followed by a same thought, which is fucking boredom, followed with the thought of doing drugs. Sometimes when I'm analyzing my life and measuring the level of boredom that my life consists of, I seriously consider starting to do drugs. And not like marijuana, but like cocaine level drugs, you know, to develop a sort of sophisticated identity, because there is something interesting and sophisticated about drug addicts. They're kind of oblivious to the world around them and the people around them and it gives off a "I don't fucking care about you" type vibe, even though in reality it's a "I'm not sure if I'm walking or not" type thing they're feeling. But, you know, they have this distinct persona. I think it mostly has to do with their body behavior, you know, they're always looking down but at the same time kind of in the distance, like they're in deep thought about something. Like when you see them you think to yourself "that dude has to be thinking deeply about something; he's looking down, and in the distance; is he looking into hell or something what is he looking at? I want to know." And that's it. They make you feel like you want to know something about them, unintentionally of course because really they're looking down because they feel if they look up their brain is going to drop down their throat. They're trying to keep it up top by balancing it on their forehead.

But still, to people who have what they think of as a boring life, they feel that a drug addicts life is a superior way of living than theirs. At least they have an identity; crackhead jim, burnout scott, degenerate sam. At least they're at a point in the spectrum, even though it's negative. But me, for instance, I'm just Jay. That's it. Neutral. No feelings towards me whatsoever. He doesn't bother anyone. He keeps to himself. Yes, I keep to myself. I keep lots of things to myself...Interpret that the way you want, probably creepily but don't contact the police.

But really, I sometimes fantasize about becoming a drug addict. I have visions of family members and friends being worried about me and saying how much potential I had, or have, depending on my physical state, whether I've sniffed by way to irreconcilable retardation or only to a friends house whom I've tried to share his bed with a few times. I picture myself going to drug meetings where I'm sitting with one leg outstretched and the other in a 80 degree position, slouching my back while keeping my head in front of my chest, dazing into the ground as drug addicts do.

And when I have these fantasies I realize I'm smiling as if some hilarious memory popped into my head, like when my friend in 3rd grade told me how he just had ran down the stairs ignorantly and bounced his head of our teacher's boobs who was at the time about to finish her climb up (she had huge boobs and he said they felt literally like two balloons). Isn't this sick. Their are horrifying stories of drug addicts that everyone has heard, and yet I'm fantasizing about becoming one. It's kind of like a girl asking to be raped just so she can assume the identity of "rapee," and go to the therapeutic meetings afterwards just so she can have something to do other than masturbating to speeches by George W. Bush; this girls southern and dumb in my fake story. But I have serious thoughts about doing this and sometimes I feel I should just go to a few rehab meetings and pretend to be a drug addict to reassure the fact of how awful it probably actually is. 

Joe Paterno and Why His Inaction is Worthy of Jail Time

I guess what it takes to be a legend of a football coach is minimal morality. This should cause all Americans to step back and rethink their predispositions about football coaches; their leadership does not always carry over into the real world. The actions taken by Joe Paterno and his subordinates and higher ups are embarrassing. The fact that it took the courage of a victim in this catastrophe to jump start an investigation while the "adults" just "passed it along to their superiors" is shameful. Any one who is defending Joe Paterno right now has got to be brainwashed to some degree. To think that it was wrong for Joe Paterno to be fired is incredulous; the mindset that a person must have to not condemn the inaction by a revered "leader" in the football community. To flip over cars in ignorant protest. The institutional failure by Penn State to take action against this molester of children and the failure of Pennsylvania law to make this a legal obligation to tell police about this sort of thing is sad and naive. I'd be for passing a law to make it illegal to not report illegal activity and suspend post de facto laws temporarily to put Paterno and his colleagues in jail. Jail time thats well deserved.

Let me just explain the widespread condemnation of the inaction of Paterno and his staff the way I see it. First, it is not that any one would condone the actions of Zandusky or whatever his stupid name is. It is just that he clearly could not be expected to take rightful actions due to his perverse disease and evidently irrational actions (receiving oral sex and sex from children in his basement and in the actual confines of Penn State). That is why the inaction by Paterno and others within the Penn State system are rightfully coming under attack by the American public. Because they are right-minded individuals who should have the intellect capable of doing clearly what is the right thing to do; going directly to the police.

One might ask: How could they not have? They didn't because of individual failure, institutional brainwashing and because of the ineffectiveness of a hierarchal system that incentivizes discretion of atrocities. To see a grown man sodomizing a child and to not go directly to the police afterwards has to be influenced, to some powerful degree, by institutional brainwashing. And by brainwashing I mean the ability of a culture to make individuals within do inhuman and irrational things, much like military cultures. In military cultures, soldiers are culturally shaped to take irrational actions to save fellow soldiers:

"Why did you go back when you knew the likelihood of your survival was minimal?"
"I did it for my boys [fellow soldiers]"

Thus, the man who told Paterno what he saw must have done so because that is what the institution directed him to do. This should be a wake up call to the American legal system, specifically at the federal level, to enact legislation that mandates individuals to go to the police when they witness illegal activities that is accompanied by a severe punishment for failing to do so.

Another condemnation should go out to those students who are flipping over cars in protest of Paterno's firing and their "defense" for doing so. The defense being that the "media" is focusing on Paterno unjustly and to too much of a degree while ignoring the real perpetrator. And because of this media attentiveness Paterno was wrongly fired. First of all, Paterno looked the other way. And by looking the other way, I mean prolonging the molestation of children. People should be flipping over cars on these kids who are "sticking up" for their savior Joe Paterno because they have a perverse love for college football.